You’ll Do Anything for Her: A New Relationship Perspective
Self-help books aimed at improving romantic relationships can be a valuable tool. You’ll Do Anything for Her: A New Relationship Perspective by Dr. Maureen E. Hosier and Berta Hosier Conger takes aim at directly addressing the reader and attempting to build a rapport. In this case, the authors speak directly to the woman in a given relationship. Singling out the gender and specific partner is a bold move that may alienate more readers than it helps. However, the authors’ choice of tone and voice coupled with fairly specific examples may be another tool in a relationship’s toolbox.
The premise of this book is that relationship dynamics are formed in early childhood through a person’s negative or positive relationship with their parents. While it’s an obvious choice to point to parental influence on mental development, it does raise some points that can provide insights. Whether or not the specific examples are accurate to each reader isn’t important. Pausing to assess your mental state is paramount to determining your impact on your current relationship. In that aspect, this book excels.
The writing style here is engaging. The authors chose to minimize clinical terms and labels. The concepts of codependency, dysfunctional behaviors, passive-aggressiveness, and more are fleshed out with discrete behaviors and examples to help readers determine themselves if these apply to them. The prose is kept simple and paragraphs rarely span more than two sentences, allowing for the reader to pause and reflect frequently on the matter. A running theme throughout the book is just that: stop and think.
It is important to note that as with any self-help book the information within these pages is meant to be informative and not to replace professional guidance. While Dr. Hosier is an experienced psychologist, she knows nothing can take the place of specific care from an experienced professional first-hand. To that end, much of the book is dedicated to either reinforcing that point or actively assisting readers in finding professional care.
As with most self-help books, this is not a one-size-fits-all or a one-stop-cure. This book seems like it would be used as a starting point. The voice, the style, the relaxed voice all invite you to sit down and consider your relationship through the lens of this new perspective. Ideally, you would read this with your partner and communicate. In that regard, this book is an excellent resource. It’s a quick read, and with thoughtful consideration you and your partner could spend a weekend discussing it. Stop, think, and communicate.
Maureen E Hosier and Berta Hosier Conger