Parenting As A Second Language: Using the Power of the Head-Heart Connection to Speak Your Child’s Language
Children can create challenging situations for their parents, caregivers, and teachers, because they are speaking a different language from the adults in their life, Dr. Diane Ross-Glazer explains. Children speak the language of the heart (feelings), while many adults speak the language of the head (thoughts/logic). Ross-Glazer demonstrates how this leads to a head-heart disconnect, which leads to breaks in the child-adult relationship. She goes on to explain how to repair this disconnect for those who are already experiencing it, and how to nurture and protect the head-heart connection for those who are just starting out.
Many parenting books, including this one, cover topics such as natural consequences, logical consequences, and positive discipline, but Ross-Glazer has a very direct, forthcoming, and simple writing style that will help an overwhelmed adult with a place to start. The topics introduced and discussed in the book are not for a person advanced in the study of positive parenting, but rather serve as an introduction for those who are looking for more information on how to speak to their children lovingly while still setting limits.
The discussion of how children are reacting with their feelings is well supported by Ross-Glazer’s research, and although not cited in the work, I’m familiar with the background she’s using to support the concepts. The corresponding information on how adults are reacting with their thoughts is also enlightening, in particular the quote regarding the usage of “that” in I feel statements.
The exercises provided were thoughtful and useful, although I have not yet done them all. I was able to glean some new tactics for raising well-rounded, self-disciplined, and perfectly imperfect children, and look forward to working through more of the exercises with my children. The step-by-step how-tos on reacting to children by using head-heart language are already proving quite useful.
As Ross-Glazer states, parents are not perfect, and while I am not a perfect parent after reading this book, I am much improved.