Divided In Despair: When A Father “Comes Out”

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Gay rights are a hot-button topic in the United States, and if one doesn’t support gay unions, they are often labeled as prejudiced. Marie Eve Vivian’s memoir Divided in Despair: When a Father “Comes Out” rains on the gay-rights parade. She offers the side of the story the media doesn’t portray—the side that’s forgotten in the name of political correctness. Have you ever wondered what happens to the family of a father who comes out of the closet and abandons them to live a flamboyant new lifestyle? Must one praise him for embracing his true self…or hate him for the lives he’s torn apart in the process?

Vivian was one of five children raised in a strict Catholic family. While they were dysfunctional, they had strong morals and attended church regularly. Vivian’s relationship with her father was always strained, yet she wanted nothing more than his undivided attention and love. She turned to one vice after another to try and find fulfillment.

Her father’s declaration that he was gay put Vivian over the edge. Her childhood faith in God shattered; and as he turned against the values he’d taught his children, she questioned her beliefs in everything she knew. She found herself in a downward spiral of alcoholism, abuse, and insanity. Her family was shattered as her father became unrecognizable. His string of male lovers sickened her, and her family’s emotional and psychological problems tested her to the extreme.

Vivian rediscovered God and found in Him what she’d been searching for all along: a Father who loved her unconditionally. God told her to stop suffering over her father and let Him be the judge. She wrote this memoir as part of her healing process. “Most people have no idea what pain is inflicted on children with gay parents,” she writes.

Divided in Despair: When a Father “Comes Out” was unlike anything I’d ever read. No one hears the family’s side of the story, and it is one that needs to be told. While there were many times I felt Vivian was unfairly blaming her parents for her problems, her pain and grief were palpable and raw. This book is a good counterbalance to the gay rights movement. I was deeply moved by her experiences and overjoyed when her faith in God brought her out of the dark shadows of despair.


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Star Count 4/5
Format Trade
Page Count 213 pages
Publisher Xlibris
Publish Date 10-Mar-2010
ISBN 9781441539472
Bookshop.org Buy this Book
Issue December 2010
Category Biographies & Memoirs


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